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"The more children, the more love."
"The more children, the more love."
â??An Interview with a mother of 20.
Mrs. Lucille Dippolito is a nurse and the mother of 20 children. The youngest is 22 and the oldest is 43. One child died a few months after birth. She has about 30 grandchildren, though she said she has to update the count. Three more are currently in the womb. Her husband died in1993. She currently lives in St. Marys, Kansas.
Of her children, Mrs. Dippolito says, "They have things that money canâ??t buy." And of parents, she remarks, "Your children you take with you into eternity"
The following interview was conducted on February 20, 2002 by Scott Johnston, Research department, Priests for Life:
Q. Did you always want to have a large family?
"Yes I did. I wanted to have six boys. God gave me the bakerâ??s dozenâ??13 boys! After the first little girl came, I wanted more girls."
"Eight children were born at home. I knew what I could do and what I couldnâ??t do."
"I come from a family of four. I lived next door to a family of 10 children, and those children were always happy! They were happy within themselves. My mother comes from a family of twelve. [Children in large families] seem to have things that money canâ??t buy."
Q. What do you say to people who say they canâ??t afford to have more kids?
"For every little mouth that God sends, He sends the little bit that is needed. I had faith in God that if He sent me a child, He was going to feed that child. I lived better than some families with two or three kids. My kids started doing things! Itâ??s not how many kids you have; itâ??s your faith in God."
Q. How were you able to manage with so many children?
"I said to people [after having a certain number], â??Iâ??m retired.â?? I got one to do the laundry, one the baking; they rotate their duties."
"We had chickens, pigs. . . . Each child had a responsibility. We butchered our meat; we had a dairy cow. It was a mini-farm on ten acres. A priest friend used to ask us: â??Is there anything in this house that is not homemade?â?? [Some things they made included their own butter, and altar candles.] Some of the talents they have they learned from their grandparents. I sew, but now my kids make my clothes for me. I gave to them, but look what I got back!"
Q. Todayâ??s cultural attitudes about parenting seem to suggest that good parenting means providing many material things for your children. Do kids need a lot of material things in order to be happy in their family and to grow up as well-adjusted adults?
"No. Thatâ??s the worse thing that you could do! Just providing everything their heart desires -- thatâ??s absolutely wrong. They need to develop their talents. Doing is learning. They have to be doers.. . . This was the law of the family: by doing they were learning. By working for something they respect it. The more you give, thereâ??s your happiness; thatâ??s what you have to teach your children. You receive your happiness by seeing how they are developing. When I stand before the judgement seat of God, Iâ??m going to tell Him I did everything for them."
"We were never poor, but we didnâ??t have lots of things. My boy had a natural talent for fixing cars. If we had been able to buy things, that talent would not have been able to come out."
"We have an engineer, a nurse. . . . These are things they did because they realized they are not going to get things handed to them. Parents are not here forever."
Q. In considering the prospect of having many children, our society seems to dwell only on the difficulties and hardships involved. What would you say in response to this consistently negative attitude about having many children?
"They are much in the dark. This is utterly false. Everybody is going to have a dark side; weâ??re not here to have heaven on earth. What are people afraid of today? People that donâ??t have kids have worse crosses than those who do! People need to start reading books on the joys of children. They are going to miss out on a lifetime of happiness. A baby is joy! Young people are very much scandalized; they are being lied to. They are being deprived of a lot of happiness. Having children makes you healthy. After each child I got stronger; couldnâ??t wait for the next one to get here! God gives you these things."
"You never have a dull momentâ??always something that you can look forward to."
"If you are always around young children, you will always be young at heart."
Q. Today there is a big emphasis on the idea that responsible parents must plan for every child they have. Did you deliberately plan each child ahead of time?
"Wrong! Iâ??d rather take it in Godâ??s time. I would have had a lot more kids if I could have! They donâ??t all have to go to college. Some of my kids are not meant for college. I took these children just as God wanted me to have them. Iâ??m glad theyâ??re here. Iâ??d do it all over again. These are your greatest treasures. You canâ??t take a car into eternity! You will not see your boat in eternity! If you love children, every moment is a moment of happiness. This â??Iâ??m going to have them when I want to,â?? thatâ??s very selfish. Faith in God is the prime ingredient in having a family. God gives you talent; you have to do the work. These people are not getting joy from the right things. The hand that rocks the cradle rocks the world."
Q. Another idea that society seems to suggest to parents today is that if they have many children, they will not be able to love all of them with the same depth that they could if they had a small family. What would you say to this?
"When number nineteen came, the family gives him love. He got so much love from the family. If he was an only child, he would never have gotten so much love! The mother can only give so much love. When you have a large family, the children are getting all kinds of love from all their brothers and sisters. Thereâ??s nothing more joyful than a baby."
Q. What for you are the greatest blessings of having a large family?
"Watching them grow, seeing their talents, the things that they give back. The love that they have for their father. They go to the gravesite and have masses said for him. Seeing them become good citizens. They are helping their country. These are great joys! My daughter who is a nurse and has helped bring people back to life. Look at the great joys! You watch them take their first step, say their first wordâ??these are things that money canâ??t buy! The blessings far outweigh the hardships. The world dwells on the hardships. Everything has pain and joy with it. You have to take the bitter with the sweet. We arenâ??t in heaven yet!"
End of interview
* * *
Reflections
Mrs. Dippolito is a very inspiring woman! She does not sound her age at all, but much younger and full of life. If you were talking for the first time with her, you would be amazed to learn she is a mother of 20 and grandmother of more than that.
She is a Catholic of very deep faith and tremendous trust in God. She is full of gratitude for all of the children God has given her. She has total trust in God for all things, and understands that in this life crosses always occur along with happiness. This is integral to her attitude toward family life. She has the realistic and hope-filled approach that since everyone will have crosses, why not multiply the joy as much as possible? To her, the more children, the more joy!
Mrs. Dippolito is also very disturbed by the lies that society tells young people today, especially the idea that fulfillment can be found in self-absorption.
Talking with Mrs. Dippolito reveals several key themes.
1. The large family is a great source of happiness. Mrs. Dippolitoâ??s initial reason for wanting many kids was her experience that the most joy-filled homes were the homes with many kids. She wanted a home with much joy, and that to her meant a home with many children. She learned this in her own family. Each child is another unique face of love that is brought into the family and multiplies the joy by adding a new love. The blessings far outweigh the pains. Parents receive back many times over what they give.
2. A large family does not mean that the parents have twenty times more work if they have twenty kids. It is a community of mutual love and sacrificeâ??a learning place of care for oneâ??s neighbor. The kids all pitch in and so as the family grows, many of the daily burdens are taken care of by the children themselves, as they are able, including much of the care for the youngest. They learn to do this work joyfully, especially by helping to care for their sibling babies. Mrs. Dippolito said her youngest child never cried because he was always being held by one of his brothers and sisters; they all eagerly give love to the younger ones. This youngest one canâ??t wait to have his first baby so he can have someone to toss in the air since he didnâ??t get to do this as his siblings did with him. This is a tremendous blessing both for the younger children who receive this abundance of love, and for the older ones who give it.
3. The large family is a natural school wherein the talents of each child can flower. Because of the sacrifices and cooperation required in a large family, the children by a kind of necessity have opportunities to discover and nurture talents and abilities that would not be discovered or practiced in a small family. Because the family could not afford to buy everything, the kids know how to garden, care for farm animals, cook, sew, can vegetables, do basic home repair work, etc. They develop from this a strong "can-do" attitude. They are versatile and flexible, because they learned it by doing things in the daily care of their family. Also, they learn to love with more effectiveness in serving others. This is because the more children there are, the more likely each child is to have counterpart siblings whose strengths complement their particular weaknesses. The sibling better at schoolwork helps the one who is less so. The mechanically gifted one fixes anotherâ??s bike (and the family car, and tractor, etc.). They learn to help and give personally to each other according to their individual weaknesses and gifts. In a large family, there is abundant opportunity for practicing the corporal and spiritual works of mercy and for the discovery and growth of natural gifts which can all work together harmoniously.
4. A lack of material riches is not to be feared in raising a family. Everyone must work hard and sacrifice for each otherâ??parents and children. But, if this is done, and most of all, if the family has complete trust in God as the ultimate provider and asks Him for all they need, they will be able to live a very happy life together. Many of the material luxuries so common today cannot bring anything approaching the joy that can be experienced in a close, large, family.
5. Faith. Great faith in God is absolutely vital to a full family life. A family simply cannot live the life meant by God without loving Him, trusting Him, and praying to Him. If these things are done, there is nothing to be afraid of.
6. Expect the cross. It is folly to try always to run from it. No one can avoid it, and society is harmed terribly by the increasing number of people who pattern their life after attempts to maximize their own comfort and self-interest. They are turning from the very thing that will help them to have the deepest joy in this life. Shunning the possibility of a large family because of potential crosses is a tragic delusion. Hardship is always a part of this life. A large family helps each member to bear each otherâ??s burdens in mutual loveâ??a school of embracing the cross together with others.
7. Family life ought to be lived with eternity always in mind. This means, among other things, knowing that children are gifts from God, that He wants them all to come to heaven, and He intends for parents to help them embrace the gifts He has for them to get there. Godâ??s grace is available every step of the way. It is essential for parents to have the perspective that they are called to be with their children not just here in this world, but forever in the eternal life of heaven.
-- Scott Johnston
â??An Interview with a mother of 20.
Mrs. Lucille Dippolito is a nurse and the mother of 20 children. The youngest is 22 and the oldest is 43. One child died a few months after birth. She has about 30 grandchildren, though she said she has to update the count. Three more are currently in the womb. Her husband died in1993. She currently lives in St. Marys, Kansas.
Of her children, Mrs. Dippolito says, "They have things that money canâ??t buy." And of parents, she remarks, "Your children you take with you into eternity"
The following interview was conducted on February 20, 2002 by Scott Johnston, Research department, Priests for Life:
Q. Did you always want to have a large family?
"Yes I did. I wanted to have six boys. God gave me the bakerâ??s dozenâ??13 boys! After the first little girl came, I wanted more girls."
"Eight children were born at home. I knew what I could do and what I couldnâ??t do."
"I come from a family of four. I lived next door to a family of 10 children, and those children were always happy! They were happy within themselves. My mother comes from a family of twelve. [Children in large families] seem to have things that money canâ??t buy."
Q. What do you say to people who say they canâ??t afford to have more kids?
"For every little mouth that God sends, He sends the little bit that is needed. I had faith in God that if He sent me a child, He was going to feed that child. I lived better than some families with two or three kids. My kids started doing things! Itâ??s not how many kids you have; itâ??s your faith in God."
Q. How were you able to manage with so many children?
"I said to people [after having a certain number], â??Iâ??m retired.â?? I got one to do the laundry, one the baking; they rotate their duties."
"We had chickens, pigs. . . . Each child had a responsibility. We butchered our meat; we had a dairy cow. It was a mini-farm on ten acres. A priest friend used to ask us: â??Is there anything in this house that is not homemade?â?? [Some things they made included their own butter, and altar candles.] Some of the talents they have they learned from their grandparents. I sew, but now my kids make my clothes for me. I gave to them, but look what I got back!"
Q. Todayâ??s cultural attitudes about parenting seem to suggest that good parenting means providing many material things for your children. Do kids need a lot of material things in order to be happy in their family and to grow up as well-adjusted adults?
"No. Thatâ??s the worse thing that you could do! Just providing everything their heart desires -- thatâ??s absolutely wrong. They need to develop their talents. Doing is learning. They have to be doers.. . . This was the law of the family: by doing they were learning. By working for something they respect it. The more you give, thereâ??s your happiness; thatâ??s what you have to teach your children. You receive your happiness by seeing how they are developing. When I stand before the judgement seat of God, Iâ??m going to tell Him I did everything for them."
"We were never poor, but we didnâ??t have lots of things. My boy had a natural talent for fixing cars. If we had been able to buy things, that talent would not have been able to come out."
"We have an engineer, a nurse. . . . These are things they did because they realized they are not going to get things handed to them. Parents are not here forever."
Q. In considering the prospect of having many children, our society seems to dwell only on the difficulties and hardships involved. What would you say in response to this consistently negative attitude about having many children?
"They are much in the dark. This is utterly false. Everybody is going to have a dark side; weâ??re not here to have heaven on earth. What are people afraid of today? People that donâ??t have kids have worse crosses than those who do! People need to start reading books on the joys of children. They are going to miss out on a lifetime of happiness. A baby is joy! Young people are very much scandalized; they are being lied to. They are being deprived of a lot of happiness. Having children makes you healthy. After each child I got stronger; couldnâ??t wait for the next one to get here! God gives you these things."
"You never have a dull momentâ??always something that you can look forward to."
"If you are always around young children, you will always be young at heart."
Q. Today there is a big emphasis on the idea that responsible parents must plan for every child they have. Did you deliberately plan each child ahead of time?
"Wrong! Iâ??d rather take it in Godâ??s time. I would have had a lot more kids if I could have! They donâ??t all have to go to college. Some of my kids are not meant for college. I took these children just as God wanted me to have them. Iâ??m glad theyâ??re here. Iâ??d do it all over again. These are your greatest treasures. You canâ??t take a car into eternity! You will not see your boat in eternity! If you love children, every moment is a moment of happiness. This â??Iâ??m going to have them when I want to,â?? thatâ??s very selfish. Faith in God is the prime ingredient in having a family. God gives you talent; you have to do the work. These people are not getting joy from the right things. The hand that rocks the cradle rocks the world."
Q. Another idea that society seems to suggest to parents today is that if they have many children, they will not be able to love all of them with the same depth that they could if they had a small family. What would you say to this?
"When number nineteen came, the family gives him love. He got so much love from the family. If he was an only child, he would never have gotten so much love! The mother can only give so much love. When you have a large family, the children are getting all kinds of love from all their brothers and sisters. Thereâ??s nothing more joyful than a baby."
Q. What for you are the greatest blessings of having a large family?
"Watching them grow, seeing their talents, the things that they give back. The love that they have for their father. They go to the gravesite and have masses said for him. Seeing them become good citizens. They are helping their country. These are great joys! My daughter who is a nurse and has helped bring people back to life. Look at the great joys! You watch them take their first step, say their first wordâ??these are things that money canâ??t buy! The blessings far outweigh the hardships. The world dwells on the hardships. Everything has pain and joy with it. You have to take the bitter with the sweet. We arenâ??t in heaven yet!"
End of interview
* * *
Reflections
Mrs. Dippolito is a very inspiring woman! She does not sound her age at all, but much younger and full of life. If you were talking for the first time with her, you would be amazed to learn she is a mother of 20 and grandmother of more than that.
She is a Catholic of very deep faith and tremendous trust in God. She is full of gratitude for all of the children God has given her. She has total trust in God for all things, and understands that in this life crosses always occur along with happiness. This is integral to her attitude toward family life. She has the realistic and hope-filled approach that since everyone will have crosses, why not multiply the joy as much as possible? To her, the more children, the more joy!
Mrs. Dippolito is also very disturbed by the lies that society tells young people today, especially the idea that fulfillment can be found in self-absorption.
Talking with Mrs. Dippolito reveals several key themes.
1. The large family is a great source of happiness. Mrs. Dippolitoâ??s initial reason for wanting many kids was her experience that the most joy-filled homes were the homes with many kids. She wanted a home with much joy, and that to her meant a home with many children. She learned this in her own family. Each child is another unique face of love that is brought into the family and multiplies the joy by adding a new love. The blessings far outweigh the pains. Parents receive back many times over what they give.
2. A large family does not mean that the parents have twenty times more work if they have twenty kids. It is a community of mutual love and sacrificeâ??a learning place of care for oneâ??s neighbor. The kids all pitch in and so as the family grows, many of the daily burdens are taken care of by the children themselves, as they are able, including much of the care for the youngest. They learn to do this work joyfully, especially by helping to care for their sibling babies. Mrs. Dippolito said her youngest child never cried because he was always being held by one of his brothers and sisters; they all eagerly give love to the younger ones. This youngest one canâ??t wait to have his first baby so he can have someone to toss in the air since he didnâ??t get to do this as his siblings did with him. This is a tremendous blessing both for the younger children who receive this abundance of love, and for the older ones who give it.
3. The large family is a natural school wherein the talents of each child can flower. Because of the sacrifices and cooperation required in a large family, the children by a kind of necessity have opportunities to discover and nurture talents and abilities that would not be discovered or practiced in a small family. Because the family could not afford to buy everything, the kids know how to garden, care for farm animals, cook, sew, can vegetables, do basic home repair work, etc. They develop from this a strong "can-do" attitude. They are versatile and flexible, because they learned it by doing things in the daily care of their family. Also, they learn to love with more effectiveness in serving others. This is because the more children there are, the more likely each child is to have counterpart siblings whose strengths complement their particular weaknesses. The sibling better at schoolwork helps the one who is less so. The mechanically gifted one fixes anotherâ??s bike (and the family car, and tractor, etc.). They learn to help and give personally to each other according to their individual weaknesses and gifts. In a large family, there is abundant opportunity for practicing the corporal and spiritual works of mercy and for the discovery and growth of natural gifts which can all work together harmoniously.
4. A lack of material riches is not to be feared in raising a family. Everyone must work hard and sacrifice for each otherâ??parents and children. But, if this is done, and most of all, if the family has complete trust in God as the ultimate provider and asks Him for all they need, they will be able to live a very happy life together. Many of the material luxuries so common today cannot bring anything approaching the joy that can be experienced in a close, large, family.
5. Faith. Great faith in God is absolutely vital to a full family life. A family simply cannot live the life meant by God without loving Him, trusting Him, and praying to Him. If these things are done, there is nothing to be afraid of.
6. Expect the cross. It is folly to try always to run from it. No one can avoid it, and society is harmed terribly by the increasing number of people who pattern their life after attempts to maximize their own comfort and self-interest. They are turning from the very thing that will help them to have the deepest joy in this life. Shunning the possibility of a large family because of potential crosses is a tragic delusion. Hardship is always a part of this life. A large family helps each member to bear each otherâ??s burdens in mutual loveâ??a school of embracing the cross together with others.
7. Family life ought to be lived with eternity always in mind. This means, among other things, knowing that children are gifts from God, that He wants them all to come to heaven, and He intends for parents to help them embrace the gifts He has for them to get there. Godâ??s grace is available every step of the way. It is essential for parents to have the perspective that they are called to be with their children not just here in this world, but forever in the eternal life of heaven.
-- Scott Johnston
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Komentarz
Pani Lucille Dippolito jest pielęgniarką i matką dwudziestki dzieci. Najmłodsze ma 22, a najstarsze 43 lata. Jedno dziecko zmarło w kilka miesięcy po urodzeniu. Ma około 30 wnuków, ale jak sama mówi mówi uaktualnić sumę. Dodatkowo trójka jest aktualnie w łonie matki. Jej mąż zmarł w 1993, ona sama mieszka w St. MArys, Kansas.
O swoich dzieciach p. Dippolito mówi: "One posiadają to, czego nie kupisz za pieniądze". A o rodzicach między innymi: " Dzieci zabierasz ze sobą do wieczności."
Poniższy wywiad był przeprowadzony 20 lutego 2002 roku przez Scotta Johnstona, z organizacji Księża dla Życia.
Ośmioro dzieci przyszło na świat w domu. Wiedziałam co mogłam, a czego nie mogłam robić.
Pochodzę z czteroosobowej rodziny. Mieszkałam obok rodziny z 10 dzieci i te dzieci były zawsze szczęśliwe! Moja matka miała 12 osobową rodzinę. Dzieci z rodzin wielodzietnych wydają się posiadać to, czego nie kupisz za pieniądze.
Co mówisz ludziom, którzy twierdzą, że nie stać ich na więcej dzieci?Że dla każdego maleńkiego dzióbka(dosł. ust), który Bóg zsyła, zsyła On również tę odrobinę, która jest potrzebna. Wierzyłam, że skoro Bóg zsyła mi dziecko, to również On je nakarmi. Żyło mi się lepiej niż niektórym rodzinom z dwójką lub trójką dzieci. Moje dzieci zaczęły robić różne rzeczy! Rzecz nie w tym ile masz dzieci, ale ile wiary w Boga!
Mówiłam ludziom(po tym jak urodziła się już pewna liczba dzieci), że jestem już na emeryturze! Jedno robi mi pranie, drugie piecze, wymieniają się obowiązkami.
Mieliśmy kury, świnie...Każde dziecko było za coś odpowiedzialne. Mieliśmy własne mięso, dojną krowę. To była 10-cio akrowa mini farma. Zaprzyjaźniony z rodziną ksiądz zwykł nas pytać: Czy jest cokolwiek w tym domu co nie jest własnej roboty?(robili min. własne masło, świece ołtarzowe itp.)
Niektóre talenty odziedziczyli po dziadkach. Ja szyłam, a teraz moje dzieci robią ubrania dla mnie! Dawałam im, ale popatrz co dostaję w zamian
Nie. To jest najgorsza rzecz jaką możesz zrobić! Dawanie im wszystkiego, czego tylko dusza zapragnie- to jest totalnie złe. One potrzebują rozwijać swoje talenty. Robienie, działanie jest uczeniem się. One muszą być być działaczami(jako przeciwieństwo do biernego brania).
To było prawo mojej rodziny: uczyły się przez działanie. Poprzez pracowanie na coś, szanują to. Im więcej dajesz, tam jest twoje szczęście; tego muisz nauczyć swoje dzieci.
ty doświadczasz swojego szczęścia przez obserwowanie jak się rozwijają. Kiedy stanę przed tronem sędziowskim Boga, powiem Mu, że zrobiłam wszystko dla nich.
Nigdy nie byliśmy biedni, ale nie mieliśmy wielu rzeczy. Jeden z chłopców miał naturalny do naprawiania samochodów. Gdyby stać nas było na kupowanie różnych rzeczy, ten talent nie ujrzałby światła dziennego.
Mamy mechanika, pielęgniarkę...To są rzeczy, które zrobili, bo zdali sobie sprawę, że nic im nie zostanie po prostu wręczone. Rodzice nie są tu na zawsze
Oni są w ciemności. To jest całkowity fałsz. Każdy przeżyje jakąś ciemną stronę, nie jesteśmy tu po to, żeby doświadczać nieba na ziemi. Czego boją się dzisiejsi ludzie? Ludzie, którzy nie mają dzieci doświadczają gorszych krzyży od tych, którzy je mają!
Ludzie powinni zacząć czytać książki o radości posiadania dzieci! Oni przegapią szczęście ich życia. Dziecko jest radością! Młodzi ludzie są bardzo gorszeni, są okłamywani. Sa pozbawiani ogromnego szczęścia. Posiadania dzieci czyni cię zxdrowym, po każdym dziecku czułam się silniejsza, nie mogłam doczekać się następnego. To Bóg daje ci to wszystko.Nigdy nie masz szarych, nudnych chwil, zawsze jest na co czekać.
.Jeśli nieustannie przebywasz wśród dzieci, zawsze będziesz młody duchem.
Mój typ to :
"Filiżanka herbaty" Danielle Bean "Katolicka mama? To Ja! Opowiem wam ciekawą historię .....
"Życie wsród dzikusów" Jackson Shirley
Obie pozycje rewelacyjne!
No i oczywiście Małgorzata Musierowicz cała Jeżycjada choć lepsze do podtrzymania na duchu i zachęcenia są pierwsze tomy.
Jakie macie propozycje?
"Jaśki" ale autora nie pomnę nie chce mi się sięgac do regału
:bigsmile:
ja mam chyba jeszcze za mało dzieci :bigsmile::bigsmile:
To źle. Ja raczej przyjmuję je w bożym czasie. Ja miałabym dużo więcej dzieci, gdybym mogła je mieć. Nie wszystkie one muszą iść do szkoły wyższej. Niektóre z moich dzieci nie są stworzone do szkoły wyższej. Biorę te dzieci takimi jakimi Bóg chciał mi je dać. Cieszę się, że one tu sobą. Zrobiłabym to wszystko znowu.
To są twoje najwspanialsze skarby. Nie weźmiesz swojego samochodu do wieczności. Nie zobaczysz twojej łodzi w wieczności.
Jeżeli kochasz dzieci, każda chwila jest chwilą szczęścia. To "będę je miała kiedy ja będę chciała" jest bardzo samolubne. Wiara Bogu jest podstawowym składnikiem posiadania rodziny. Bóg daje ci talent; masz pracę do wykonania.
Ci ludzie czerpią radość nie z tych rzeczy co trzeba. Ręka, która kołysze kołyskę, kołysze świat
Nie macie żadnych propozycji?
A co do książek mnie ujął "Osiołek Łukaszka" ( nie pamietam autorki)
"Kiedy nasze dziewiętaste dziecko przyszło na świat, rodzina obdarzyła je miłością. Jeżeli to dziecko byłoby jedynakiem, nigdy nie otrzymałoby aż tyle miłości! Matka kocha dziecko tak jak potrafi. Kiedy rodzina jest liczna, dzieci doświadczają najróżniejszych rodzajów miłości od swoich braci i sióstr. Nie ma nic, co mogłoby dać więcej radości, niż dziecko. "
cdn
"Przyglądanie się jak dzieci rosną, jakie mają talenty, a także wszystko to, czym same nas obdarowują. Ich miłość do ojca. Chodzą na jego grób, zamawiają msze w jego intencji. Obserwowanie, jak stają się dobrymi obywatelami. Wspierają swój kraj. To jest wielka radość! Moja córka jest pielęgniarką i pomaga chorym wracać do życia. Proszę popatrzeć, jakie to wspaniałe! Patrzysz, jak robią pierwszy kroczek, jak wymawiają pierwsze słowo - tego nie sposób kupić za pieniądze! Te radości o niebo przewyższają ponoszony trud. Świat skupia się tylko na trudach. A przeicież wszystko wiąże się i z bólem, i z radością. Trzeba przyjąć i jedno, i drugie. Wszak nie jesteśmy jeszcze w niebie!"
Koniec rozmowy.
Po obiedzie c.d., tzn. tłumaczenie refleksji.
A swoją drogą te ostatnie słowa są cudowne. Kwintesencja rozumnego, pełnego wiary podejścia do życia. O jakże mi tego brakuje...
Refleksje
Pani Dippolito to wyjątkowa kobieta! Kiedy się z nią rozmawia, wydaje się dużo młodsza niż w rzeczywistości i pełna życia. Kiedy spotyka się ją po raz pierwszy, nie sposób uwierzyć, że jest matką dwudziestki dzieci i babcią jeszcze większej liczny wnucząt.
Jest głęboko wierzącą katoliczką, która w pełni ufa Bogu. Przepełniona jest wdzięcznością za każde dziecko, którym ją Bóg obdarzył. We wszystkim pokłada ufność w Bogu i rozumie, że w tym życiu są i krzyże i radości. To przekonanie jest integralną częścią jej patrzenia na życie w rodzinie. Wyznaje realistyczne i przepełnione nadzieją podejście, że, skoro i tak każdy musi w życiu dźwigać swój krzyż, dlaczego by nie przymnażać jak najwięcej radości? Dla niej, im więcej dzieci, tym więcej radości!
Panią Dippolito bardzo martwią kłamstwa, którymi współczesne społeczeństwo karmi młodych ludzi, a w szczególności to, że spełnienie można odnaleźć w skupianiu się na sobie samym.
Rozmowa z panią Dippolito ukazuje kilka kluczowych kwestii.
1. Duża rodzina to ogromne źródło szczęścia. Pani Dippolito pragnęła mieć wiele dzieci, ponieważ widziała, że najradośniej było w domach rodzin wielodzietnych. Chciała, by jej dom był także miejscem radości, co było dla niej równoznaczne z tym, że powinien być pełen dzieci. Tak było w jej rodzinie. Każde kolejne dziecko to jedyny w swoim rodzaju przejaw miłości, którym rodzina zostaje obdarowana i który pomnaża radość, bo w rodzinie jest jeszcze więcej miłości. Ta radość daleko bardziej przewyższa trudy. Rodzice o wiele więcej otrzymują niż sami z siebie dają.
2. Duża rodzina nie oznacza, że rodzice mają dwadzieścia razy więcej pracy, jeżeli mają dwadzieścioro dzieci. To wspólnota wzajemnej miłości i poświęcenia - miejsce nauki troski o bliźniego. Wszystkie dzieci angażują się w życie rodziny, tak więc w miarę jak rodzina się rozrasta, wiele codziennych obowiązków zostaje przejętych przez same dzieci, w miarę ich możliwości, włączając w to także opiekę nad młodszymi. Uczą się wypełniać obowiązki z radością, szczególnie kiedy zajmują się najmłodszym rodzeństwem. Pani Dippolito powiedziała, że jej najmłodsze dziecko nigdy nie płakało, ponieważ zawsze było noszone na rękach przez któregoś z braci lub sióstr, którzy chętnie i z miłością opiekowali się młodszymi. Najmłodszy syn pani Dippolito nie może się doczekać swojego pierwszego potomka, by móc go podrzucać w górę, ponieważ w przeciwieństwie do swojego starszego rodzeństwa nie miał dotychczas okazji, by móc to robić. To wielki dar i dla młodszych dzieci, które otrzymują tyle miłości, i dla starszych, które tą miłością obdarowują.
3. Duża rodzina to naturalna szkoła, gdzie talent każdego dziecka może swobodnie rozkwitać. Ze względu na poświęcenie i współpracę niezbędną w dużej rodzinie, dzieci siłą rzeczy mają okazję odkryć i pielęgnować talenty i zdolności, które nie byłyby odkryte i wykorzystane w małej rodzinie. Ponieważ rodziny nie stać na kupno wszystkiego, czego potrzebują, dzieci wiedzą, jak uprawiać ogród, zajmować się zwięrzętami w gospodarstwie, gotować, szyć, robić przetwory, przeprowadzać proste domowe naprawy, itp. Dzięki temu wyrabiają w sobie przekonanie, że są w stanie dać sobie radę. Są też wszechstronne i elastyczne w swoich działaniach, ponieważ uczą się tego w trakcie codziennych obowiązków rodzinnych. Ponadto uczą się kochać poprzez służenie drugiemu człowiekowi. Dzieję się tak dlatego, że im więcej dzieci w rodzinie, tym bardziej prawdopodobne jest, że każde z dzieci będzie miało siostę lub brata, który lepiej daje sobie w czymś radę, kompensując tym samym słabości danego dziecka. To, które lepiej radzi sobie z nauką, pomaga temu, które ma jakieś trudności. Dziecko uzdolnione technicznie naprawia rower drugiemu (lub rodzinny samochód, traktor, itp.) Dzieci uczą się pomagać i obdarowywać siebie wzajemnie, w zależności od swoich zdolności i słabych stron. W dużej rodzinie jest mnóstwo możliwości praktykowania uczynków miłosiernych co do duszy i ciała, a także odkrywania i rozwijania naturalnych zdolności, które harmonijnie mogą się uzupełniać.
4. Nie należy się bać niedostatku dóbr materialnych. Każdy powinien ciężko pracować i uczyć się wyrzeczeń dla dobra innych członków rodziny - dotyczy to zarówno rodziców, jak i dzieci. Jeśli tak jest i, nade wszystko, jeśli rodzina w pełni ufa Bogu jako najwyższemu Dawcy i prosi Go o wszystko, czego potrzebuje, wszyscy są w stanie żyć razem bardzo szczęśliwie. Wiele materialnych, tak powszechnych dziś luksusów, nie jest w stanie choćby w drobnej cząstce zapewnić tę radość, jakiej można doświadczyć w kochającej, wielodzietnej rodzinie.
5. Wiara. Głęboka wiara w Boga jest niezbędna, by w pełni cieszyć się życiem rodziny. Rodzina po prostu nie może rozwijać się w sposób przewidziany dla niej przez Boga, jeśli nie ma w niej miłości do Boga, ufności i modlitwy. Jeśli jest, niczego nie trzeba się bać.
6. Akceptuj Krzyż. Głupotą jest nieustanna ucieczka od Krzyża. Nikt nie jest w stanie uniknąć cierpienia, a coraz większa liczba osób, które żyją tak, by zmaksymalizować własną wygodę i korzyść, ogromnie niszczy społeczeństwo. Uciekają dokładnie od tego, co pomogłoby im osiągnąć najgłebszą radość w tym życiu. Unikanie powiększenia rodziny z powodu potencjalnych trudów jest tragicznym złudzeniem. Cierpienie jest nieodłączną częścią życia na ziemi. Członkowie dużej rodziny we wzajemnej miłości pomagają sobie nosić brzemiona jedni drugich, ucząc się w ten sposób razem dźwigać Krzyż.
7. Życie rodzinne powinno zawsze toczyć się w perspektywie życia wiecznego. To oznacza, między innymi, świadomość, że dzieci są darem od Boga, że On pragnie dla nich wszystkich Nieba i że oczekuje od rodziców, by pomogli dzieciom przyjąć dary przygotowane dla nich przez Boga, które mają je do Niego doprowadzić. Bóg obdarowuje ich Swoją łaską na każdym etapie tej drogi. Ważne jest, by rodzice nie stracili z oczu perspektywy, że Bóg powołuje ich do towarzyszenia dzieciom nie tylko na tym świecie, ale na zawsze w życiu wiecznym w Niebie.
-- Scott Johnston
A cała reszta jak najbardziej do naśladowania....:bigsmile: